The “Check Engine Light” Theory of Anxiety
Why Your Body’s “Warning Signals” are Actually Trying to Save You
You’re driving down the highway, music turned all the way up, feeling great.
Suddenly—DING, DING, DING—an amber light pops up on your car’s dashboard: “Check engine.”
What do you do? Panic, cry, swear to the heavens? Do you ignore it and turn the radio up louder?
Most of us treat anxiety exactly like that annoying light on our car’s dashboard. We view it as a malfunction—something to be ignored.
But anxiety isn’t a malfunction. It’s feedback.
The body keeps the score, and it’s always trying to send us a signal.
Black Tape Over the Light
In my 20s and 30s, that check engine light was constantly going off. I would feel tense and on edge for no reason, get lost in constant rumination, and have panic attacks seemingly out of the blue.
I handled it by simply putting black tape over the amber light so I didn’t have to see it.
That black tape was every numbing behavior I used to ignore the warning light.
It was the antidepressant that leveled me out. It was the alcohol I abused on the weekends to take the edge off. It was TV, movies, video games, and anything else I could use to turn my brain off and run from the alarm.
It’s a Safety Feature, Not a Bug
I only learned in the last few years that the alarm isn’t something to fear, but something to listen to. It was trying to keep me safe all along.
It’s a hard lesson because when anxiety hits, it feels like the call is coming from inside the house. My brain screamed: You are not safe. I felt like my body was attacking me.
I could be sitting in a class of 25 students, discussing philosophy, when a wave of panic exploded through my body, telling me I wasn’t safe. Something was terribly wrong. I was in danger.
But all along, my body was just trying to signal to me that something was off. It was trying to get me to pull off to the side of the road and open up the hood before we exploded.
Looking back, I can see that I wasn’t eating healthy. I wasn’t exercising except for playing pickup basketball. I was drinking a lot of caffeine and binge drinking to the point of blackouts on the weekends, which was an altogether new activity for me.
I realize now that I had no concept of stress or anxiety, and therefore, no ability to manage these new physical symptoms. The only real learned behavior I had was from sports. Push through the discomfort and pain. Ignore it. Try harder. Go faster.
This stuff doesn’t work in the real world. It’s no wonder I exploded into panic attacks that brought me as close to the feeling of death as I’ve ever been.
Your body is here to help you, not hurt you. And your mind is smart enough to help you find a solution.
The “Pop the Hood” Protocol
Awareness is your most powerful investigative tool and it’s something that gets more powerful the more you exercise it.
Instead of running from your body’s sensations, I’m going to give you a healthier alternative.
Acknowledge the Alarm: When you feel that twinge of anxiety or any of the numerous physical symptoms that come with it, don’t try to put the black tape over it. Don’t reach for your phone, turn on the TV, or grab that drink. Just acknowledge its presence. “I see you, anxiety.” “I feel you, tight chest.” “I notice you, lump in my throat.”
Get Curious: Ask yourself, “What are you trying to protect me from right now? What are you trying to tell me?”
Gain Understanding: We are intuitive beings. Most of the time, if you spend a few moments thinking about what is going on in your life, you’ll be able to pinpoint one or more things you’re dreading or stressed out about. Acknowledging this message from your alarm system is often enough to quiet down the alarm because it feels heard.
Take a Maintenance Action: This could be anything that aligns with your purpose and/or goals. Go for a quick walk. Read a book. Take a calming bath. Journal.
Instead of numbing, you’re learning to acknowledge the thoughts and sensations, understand where they’re coming from, and then focus on one small action.
Maintenance vs. Repair
You wouldn’t drive for 20 years with the Oil Change or Check Engine lights on and then be shocked when the car no longer starts.
But when it comes to our internal systems, we often wait until the car is smoking on the side of the road before we even think to analyze what could be happening.
Your anxiety is not the enemy. It’s the most sensitive, dedicated alert system you have and it’s running 24/7 to keep you safe. The light is not the problem; ignoring it is.
The next time the light flashes, don’t cover it up.
Pull over. Pop the hood. Listen.
Whether it’s a 10-minute walk without your phone or simply closing your eyes for five deep breaths, pick one thing. If you’re willing, share your “maintenance plan” in the comments to inspire others.
So much of this article resonates. Great read. My reset plan is usually a walk or 5-10 minute meditation where a bell rings every minute and I notice what I am thinking and release it or name it to take care of later. The last one would be playing with my kids. Connection with them almost always gets me feeling better.
Thank you, and that book you gave me, No Bad Parts, has been very helpful to talk to the part and give it space. I agree I had the push through mentality since there was "so much to do" that "I couldn't stop". What an interesting story to tell myself and really good way to set off the warning light.