Gratitude: The Anxiety Secret Weapon

The Science and Practice of Shifting Your Mind from Fear to Calm

I used to roll my eyes when I heard people talk about the importance of gratitude.

As a man, the term felt soft, like something you’d see on a decorative pillow sitting beneath a “Live Laugh Love” sign.

I knew logically what I should be thankful for: my family, my health, the safe neighborhood I grew up in. But I didn’t spend much time feeling lucky. I spent my time scanning for threats.

What I failed to understand as a younger man is that gratitude isn’t just “positive vibes.” It’s a tactical tool for rewiring your brain’s relationship with fear.

And if you aren’t using it, you’re fighting your own biology.

Our Brains Are Velcro for Negativity

To understand why gratitude isn’t just fluff, we have to look at the evolution of our hardware.

We used to live in environments where saber-toothed tigers and other predators roamed.

The people who passed on their genes weren’t the most relaxed—they were the ones who noticed every rustle in the bushes and took it seriously.

To keep us alive, our brains developed a comprehensive alarm system in the amygdala that constantly monitors the environment for threats.

This evolution created a “negativity bias.” Perceived threats and bad experiences stick to our minds like Velcro, while good experiences tend to slide off like Teflon.¹

This is why you can still remember that really embarrassing moment from high school 20 years later, but you probably don’t remember the nice thing someone said to you last week.

The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the area in the front of the brain that manages executive functions and regulates emotions. It evolved long after our amygdala and when we find ourselves in scary situations, it goes offline as the amygdala takes over.

Fortunately, most of us don’t live near dangerous animals roaming. We don’t need to live in constant fight or flight to keep ourselves safe.

We can literally rewire our brain to calm the amygdala’s alarm system, leading to less stress, anxiety, a better mood, and an overall healthier life.

How Gratitude Calms Your Fear Circuit

We now know from studies that practicing gratitude biologically downregulates the fear response, calming the amygdala.

It works by activating the PFC, which in turn dampens the fight or flight response, effectively acting as a brake system for our fear and anxiety.

Here’s what research tells us happens when we make gratitude a habit:

• Boosts Neurotransmitters: Gratitude triggers the release of dopamine and serotonin—the brain’s “feel-good” chemicals that regulate our mood.

• Lowers Cortisol: It helps lower the stress hormone cortisol, calming that overactive alarm system I talk about so often.

• Improves Sleep: Writing down positive thoughts before bed can reduce the spinning thoughts that keep you awake.

For those of us with overactive nervous systems, this isn’t fluff. It’s reps that retrain the alarm system.

Five Easy Ways to Get Started with Gratitude

The beautiful thing about a gratitude practice is you can do it at any time of the day, pretty much anywhere.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Expressing Gratitude to Others: Call or text someone expressing your gratitude for them. This doesn’t have to be weird or anxiety-inducing. It can be as simple as “Hey, just wanted to let you know I’m grateful to have you in my life.” Or, if you’re like me, it might be closer to “I appreciate you, buddy.”

2. Gratitude Journaling: As part of my morning journaling routine, I write down two things I’m grateful for. I try to mix it up and be descriptive. For instance, I’ll write down: “How cute Greta is” instead of “My dog.”

3. Gratitude Walks: Take a walk with the sole purpose of naming as many things as you can that you’re grateful for. You might find this tough to focus on the entire time, so feel free to time-box it or choose a specific number of things you’re going to name.

4. Gratitude for the Struggle: Write down a struggle that you’ve had along with the lesson it’s taught you. Express your gratitude for the lesson. There were years when I would’ve done almost anything to never feel anxiety again. Now, I can look back at my hardest moments and say, “I wish they hadn’t happened. And I’m grateful for what they forced me to learn.”

5. Body Appreciation: Scan your body and express gratitude for the parts of your body that have provided you with strength. I recently did this during a tough hot yoga class when my heart was pounding. I was focused on my breath, feeling my heart beating out of my chest, and thought, “I’m grateful for you, heart, for being strong and keeping me alive, even in tough times.”

Choose one of these ideas or come up with your own and try to practice it consistently for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, reflect on the experience and decide if you’d like to continue.

You might notice small shifts within the first few weeks—feeling a little lighter, less on edge, more connected.

Recalibrating Your Brain, One Small Practice at a Time

You’re not going to automatically feel wonderful by journaling one time about gratitude. It needs to become a habit that you form, much like brushing your teeth when you wake up.

It’s also not a magic bullet that will stop a full-blown panic attack in its tracks, though I wish it was.

The goal of building a gratitude practice is to slowly recalibrate your brain toward safety. We want our minds to stop scanning the world only through a negativity and fear filter, and start noticing more of what makes life worth living.

Each morning, I look forward to writing down those 2-3 things I’m grateful for. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I continue to find more ways to be grateful for the challenges I’ve been through in life.

Once you can truly feel gratitude for your own journey—all the joy, love, pain, and suffering—the world opens up in a way that gives your life more meaning than you’ve ever felt before.

I’m grateful for each of you reading about my journey. My deepest belief is that I’m on this planet to find purpose in what I’ve been through and help others live better lives.

Thank you for being a part of it.

What is one struggle you’ve faced that you can find an ounce of gratitude for today?

1. This analogy was originally coined by psychologist Rick Hanson: https://rickhanson.com/velcro-for-the-bad-teflon-for-the-good/