Taking Control: How I Navigated Tapering Off an SSRI After 20 Years
My Detailed Plan for Coming Off Antidepressants – And What I Wish I Knew Sooner
For over 20 years, a tiny pill was my shield. It helped me feel “normal,” helped me hide the panic demon that’s stalked my body and my mind for decades.
For these past two decades, I’ve been too scared to face this demon without my shield that kept the terror at bay.
This pill, a type of antidepressant called an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor), was in many ways my saving grace. It allowed me to live a life mostly free from the crippling panic so I could do the “normal” things in life.
But over the last year, I’ve confronted a hard truth: My shield has also made me numb and apathetic.
Last week, I wrote about my 20-year experience on antidepressants and this hard truth.
Through therapy, I was able to finally connect to my true self and realize that I don’t need to be afraid of my demon, because ultimately, that demon has been me. I’ve gained a deep sense of knowing that I can handle anything that comes my way.
This understanding has given me the courage and the resolve to fully taper off my SSRI.
I’ve done a lot of work to get to this point and everyone has their own path to walk. But I’m confident my experience and lessons learned can help inform others who are just starting on their own path.
How I’ve Tapered Off My SSRI
There isn’t a manual for coming off antidepressants after two decades. Believe me, I’ve checked.1
So, I decided to create one from my own experience.
This is the information I wish I would’ve had in my mid-20s when I first tried to taper off my SSRI. It can be done. It takes some work, but it hasn’t been as difficult as I was expecting.
I want to share everything about my journey – from building a crucial support team and the personal work I undertook (and still do), to the exact tapering schedule I followed.
The first step for me on my tapering journey was to build a support team that would help every step of the way.
Preparation - Building Your Support Team
Finding the Right Medical Professional
My first thought when I decided to start the journey was that I needed a medical professional that understood the complexity of mental health and had experience slowly tapering people off of SSRIs.
My experience with family doctors was they meant well, but didn’t have this knowledge and experience.
That’s when I decided to find someone that did. I actually looked for psychiatrists in my network but found an amazing Certified Nurse Practitioner (CNP) that specializes in psychiatric mental health. She works for our area’s large public university’s non-profit comprehensive mental health center and psychiatric hospital.
Interview Them (No, Seriously)
I didn’t want to start tapering until after we were through the dead of winter. I wanted to ensure the weather wasn’t going to add any further complications to my mood and therefore the tapering experience.
I was planning on starting the tapering process in March. But I still scheduled an appointment well in advance, in November 2024, to first chat with her.
This wasn’t just any appointment, however. It was more so a job interview for her. I didn’t ask her directly, but I wanted to know if she had the qualifications and wanted the job of helping me through this huge life event.
I asked her directly:
How much experience did she have tapering individuals off of SSRIs?
How did she approach the tapering process?
What else would she recommend I focus on throughout the process? (This is where supplementation came in)
It was important to me that our views aligned, because those views inform how medical professionals will medically treat you. You have to rely on their knowledge and expertise, of course, but if we disagree on basic elements, that’s going to be a problem.
She had a huge crystal in her office and wore a crystal necklace and I took that as a cue to ask her about the holistic side of medicine and how this would inform my tapering plan.
I was very adamant that I wanted this to be a very slow tapering process and she was fully aligned. From my research and from her experience, a slow taper is crucial to minimize any symptoms as you’re coming off the SSRI.
You do not want to get brain zaps. Trust me.
I’m going to state this again because this is the most important information you’ll read in this post: A slow taper is crucial to minimize any symptoms as you’re coming off the SSRI.
After my initial interview, I scheduled a follow-up for the end of January 2025 to map out the tapering schedule, including the exact date I would start.
I didn’t solely rely on my new Certified Nurse Practitioner during the tapering process. I also found an amazing therapist to help me handle any anxiety and panic symptoms that could come up throughout the process.
Finding a Therapist
I’ve been to several therapists before to help me with my anxiety. Both were male and neither helped. They were older males that subscribed to somewhat outdated versions of therapy that I didn’t feel actually worked for me. It was a lot of talking AT me.
The biggest point of contention I had with them was that they didn’t connect with me emotionally. They were never able to get me to open up and ask the tough questions of me. It always felt very prescriptive and formal. And they mainly focused on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that I just didn’t jive with.
The last therapist I went to made me read the book on CBT2 as homework and then we’d discuss each chapter in the next session. He’d spend most of the time explaining what I had already read. We never got past surface level BS.
I made the active decision to look for a female therapist this time and found a truly amazing woman that has helped me surface insights about myself that I didn’t know. It’s been truly profound and a night-and-day experience compared to the other therapy I’ve done.
I built my team around a medical professional and a therapist, but you also need to ensure you have people around you that can help in the moment. Your doctor/NP and therapist aren’t on call 24/7.
In the moment, if you’re feeling anxiety or panic come on and you need a lifeline, who can you talk to?
Rounding Out Your Support Team with Family, Friends, Significant Others, Etc.
The last crucial team members need to be people in your life that you trust and feel comfortable with. I generally think of family and friends with this, but maybe you have life coaches, religious figures, or someone else I’m not thinking about.
The main requirement is that they are willing to help support you when you need it.
For me, it’s always been my family, especially my mom. I admit, I’m a momma’s boy. She’s always been there for me no matter what.
When I’ve had panic attacks in the past, I’ve called her to talk through it and just hearing her voice makes me feel more relaxed and at home. It doesn’t necessarily stop the panic attack, but I feel more in control and safe.
Who do you have in your life that can support you, no questions asked?
Once you’ve built your team, you’re ready to do the work.
Doing The Work
As I’ve shared in a previous post, I’ve cultivated several practices that have become a bedrock for my mental health.
Hot yoga 3x a week
Daily meditation
Daily journaling/writing
Cold plunging 5x a week
Breath work as needed
Daily supplementation (guided by my research and CNP)
I made sure that before I started tapering, I had built all of these activities into my normal routine. I wanted to be confident that I was doing everything I could to ensure this tapering process was successful.
And I certainly didn’t want a repeat of my previous tapering experience where my panic attacks came back with a vengeance.
I built all of these activities into my routine ahead of my second meeting with my CNP at the end of January 2025. This meeting was to finalize the tapering schedule and put a date on when my tapering would begin.
By this meeting, I had already begun meeting with my therapist and had four or five visits under my belt. I felt confident enough to start the taper immediately and not wait until March for better weather. This was a major win for me and showed the progress I was making in therapy.
Let’s review the tapering schedule.
Tapering Schedule
Below is the exact tapering schedule I ended up following:
End of January 2025 - Second meeting (Beginning at 200mg dose of Sertraline 1x daily)
February 1, 2025 - Take 150mg
March 1, 2025 - Take 100mg
April 1, 2025 - Take 75mg
April 15, 2025 - Take 50mg
May 1, 2025 - Take 25mg
May 12, 2025 - I am completely off an SSRI!!!
I had a meeting with my CNP before each scheduled taper to ensure it was going well and I could proceed. We treated this schedule as very informal and each date was subject to change if things came up.
Throughout the process, I did not feel any wave of anxiety or panic outside of what I’d consider normal life stuff. No ruminating thoughts. No trouble sleeping. No panic attacks.
What I did notice was pretty amazing. I felt a wider range of emotions. I routinely felt a sense of awe and appreciation for life. There were days I felt sad and lonely but the feelings subsided pretty quickly.
Overall, I’m feeling more motivated and more inspired than I have in a long, long time. And that feels wonderful.
Final Thoughts
Today is Sunday, May 11, 2025. I’ve taken my final dose at 25mg. Tomorrow, I will no longer be taking an antidepressant. Holy sh*t!
I’m ecstatic I’ve made it here, guys.
There were parts of me that thought this would be impossible. I had made peace with the fact that I’d be on an antidepressant the rest of my life. I’m beyond happy and extremely proud of myself.
I’m also extremely grateful to my support team for their expertise and guidance.
I want YOU to know that it is possible to taper off an SSRI.
Everyone’s experience will be different and your treatment plan should account for this. But if you have a strong support system and you do the work, I’m confident you can do it, too.
Do you have experience tapering off an SSRI? Let’s discuss in the comments.
Disclaimer
This goes without saying, but I’m not a mental health professional or a physician. These are my experiences and my opinions, though I’ve done considerable amounts of research and have worked with multiple medical professionals in tapering off my SSRI.
Please work with a qualified doctor and/or therapist if you are suffering from anxiety, panic disorder, depression, or any other mental health issue. Don’t ever stop taking your antidepressant cold turkey as that is very dangerous. Only taper off your antidepressant under the supervision of a qualified medical professional.
The best resource I could find was “The Maudsley Deprescribing Guidelines: Antidepressants, Benzodiazepines, Gabapentinoids and Z-drugs” but it’s for medical professionals and if I had to sum up what I learned, it’s to taper very slowly. (It’s not for the casual reader)
Congratulations on your journey with SSRI’s and completely tapering off the meds after 20 years. This is amazing and I am so proud of you!
May 12th, a day to remember. Well done Andy.