The Lie I Finally Stopped Believing About Alcohol

Trading Hangovers and Anxiety for a Life of Purpose

In my 20s and early 30s, I spent most weekends drinking with my friends and then dealing with the terrible hangovers alone.

I really didn’t think I had another option. All my friends drank. It felt like everyone my age drank. Everyone every age drank.

How else were you supposed to meet people? And have fun?

The sad thing about America is that corporations often are the tastemakers in society. Their marketing efforts are so ingenious that they typically become part of our lexicon and our culture.

Breakfast being the most important meal of the day? Yea, scientists didn’t discover that. Kellogg’s made it up in the early 20th century to sell cereal.

Diamond engagement rings being a necessity? Came from a brilliant marketing campaign in 1947 by the De Beers diamond company - “A diamond is forever.”

Smoking cigarettes makes you cool? Enter Joe Camel and the Marlboro man.

I bought into the narrative that alcohol was just part of normal life. You worked during the week and then let loose on the weekend drinking your favorite alcoholic beverages.

Watch any commercial about alcoholic beverages and look at how much FUN they’re having. I wanted that!

We are so conditioned that when we come across someone that doesn’t drink, that’s often a red flag. What do you mean you don’t drink? Do you hate hot dogs and America, too?

I bought into the narrative that drinking was a necessary part of life and I didn’t look back.

Not when I drove drunk and was involved in a scary crash and got a DUI at 24. Not when I was having panic attacks the day after binge drinking. Not even when my dad died from liver and kidney issues related to his smoking and drinking.

These concepts are buried in our subconscious. It’s hard to deprogram wanting to grab drinks with friends. Grabbing a beer (or many) at a baseball game. Coming home from work and cracking open a cold one or pouring a nice little bourbon drink.

I should’ve stopped drinking a lot time ago. I knew I couldn’t drink safely. One led to two. Two led to four. Four led to black out. And then the next day would be a blur of anxiety and despair. It was like clockwork.

All the signs told me in my mid 20s that I shouldn’t be drinking. Why was it so hard for me to stop?

I’d argue it was because alcohol is everywhere. It’s a part of everything we as Americans do. Binge drinking, up to a certain point, is not only acceptable, but expected.

Going against the grain is always difficult, but especially so when you’re a young person trying to find your way in this world. The last thing I wanted to do was stick out and give others a reason to judge me. I wasn’t comfortable enough with myself yet for me to deal with the questions and awkward looks.

I’m grateful to say I’ve been sober for five years and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Let me tell you why.

How My Life is Better Without Alcohol

Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way. I don’t ever have to worry about making bad decisions because I’m not of sound mind and body. This covers a lot of things, but I think you get the gist.

I’m Productive on the Weekends

My weekends used to be a two-part tragedy.

The first part was going out and having tons of fun drinking, meeting new people, making people laugh, and overall just having the time of my life. Not a care in the world.

The second part was dealing with the hangover that came after all the fun was over. I’d be sad, anxious, and alone nursing a headache in a dark room in my house wondering why I keep doing this to myself.

My hangovers often turned into agoraphobia¹ where I was scared to leave my house for fear of having a panic attack in some uncontrollable situation.

That unfortunately meant I couldn’t really do anything but lay on the couch and watch TV.

There are plenty of times I disappointed people because I said I would do something with them, but then I couldn't because I got too drunk the night before. I couldn't leave my house.

But now? It’s such a different experience.

I typically wake up naturally (by myself or by my dog) around 6:30-7am and I have a slow morning focused on my regular morning routine: Iced coffee, meditation, journaling, and positive affirmations + visualizations.

And then I’m free to do anything in the world I want to do, with no fear of leaving my house.

I still have moments where I feel I could be even more productive, but then I do the math. By just eliminating hangovers, I've reclaimed weeks and weeks in a year that were previously lost to recovery.

The improvement isn't infinite—it's real, and I'm spending it building a life I don't need to escape from.

I’m More in Tune with Self & Purpose

No longer do I spend my weekends reactive, dealing with the hangover and wondering what in the world I’m doing with my life.

That old mental space—a loop of regret, anxiety, and shame—has been replaced with quiet.

And in that quiet, I can finally hear Self. That’s where the purpose is. That's where these posts come from.

My Anxiety Stays Under Control

Something wild happens when I don’t black out on the weekends: My anxiety levels don’t jump off the chart.

Yeah, I know. It’s truly shocking stuff.

The most tangible change to my anxiety is the stability of my nervous system. I used to wake up after a night of drinking with a racing heart and a sense of dread before anything had even happened. That was my body in a state of alcohol withdrawal: A forced state of high alert.

Now, my baseline is calm. I wake up rested. My heart rate is steady.

And because I'm not starting each day from a chemical deficit, I have the physical and mental resources to handle challenges as they come. My body is no longer fighting to find equilibrium, which leaves my mind free to focus on actual living.

Sobriety Has Been a Game Changer

Sobriety isn’t for everyone. Not everybody has a problem with alcohol.

But for people like me, sobriety is a necessary part of living a better connected, more fulfilling life.

September 9, 2019, was the last day I drank and I’m deeply grateful I’m able to say that. That was the day I stopped buying a product and started building a life.

And for everyone that is on the journey, much respect and best wishes! You got this.

Feel free to drop questions in the comments if you’re sober curious! I’d love to chat.

Next Week: My Daily Routine for a Calm Nervous System and Connecting to Self

I’m really excited to walk you all through my daily routine. It’s something that’s taken me years to cultivate as I’ve learned more about both myself and the emerging science behind activities like meditation.

Have a great week!

1. “Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia involves fearing and avoiding places or situations that might cause panic and feelings of being trapped, helpless or embarrassed. You may fear an actual or upcoming situation. For example, you may fear using public transportation, being in open or enclosed spaces, standing in line, or being in a crowd.” (Mayo Clinic)