Is It Stress or Is It Anxiety?

How to tell the difference and what might help

It’s good that we’re talking more openly about mental health. At the same time, we sometimes use words like anxiety to describe everyday stress.

That can make it harder to recognize when someone’s anxiety is seriously affecting their life.

I’m glad the stigma around mental health is starting to lessen. I also know how easy it is to wonder, “If everyone feels anxious, maybe mine isn’t that bad. Maybe this is just how I have to live.”

One of the questions I get asked the most when talking with people about anxiety is, “What is the difference between stress and anxiety?”

It’s a great question because they can feel very similar in the body.

Here is how I think about the difference:

• Stress is your body’s response to pressure or a challenge. For example, before an important test, you might notice sweaty palms or a rapid heartbeat.

• Anxiety is worry or fear about what might happen. While worrying about failing that test next week, you might notice a pit in your stomach or tightness in your chest. It often focuses on worst-case scenarios.

Another way to think about it: stress is generally a response to a pressure or challenge, while anxiety can persist even when the stressor is gone or there’s no immediate threat.

One thing also worth making clear: anxiety is a very normal human response. It’s part of the threat-response system that has helped humans survive all these years.

So, it’s normal to be anxious about having a tough conversation with a friend or loved one.

But, it may be a sign that you could use more support if the worry starts affecting your sleep, eating, relationships, or ability to do the things that matter to you.

When anxiety becomes a constant way of life, it can shrink a person’s life. They may start avoiding anything that could stoke the anxiety fire.

I know this all too well.

I spent many years avoiding things that could make me anxious for fear of having another panic attack. This included traveling, trying new experiences, and even talking to people I didn’t know.

It’s funny to think about now, but I never wanted to call places to order food. The possibility of one awkward interaction was enough to make me avoid ordering by phone.

Who knows what could’ve happened? I say the wrong thing and the person goes to the news to tell everybody I’m an idiot?

My body was reacting as if that small interaction were a real threat. I would decide, “Nope, not worth it. Have someone else do it!”

How can we handle each now that we can better identify stress and anxiety?

I have two recommendations.

Dealing with Stress and Anxiety

Stress

For stress, it can help to name the pressure and then choose one small action.

Let’s say you have a really busy week at work with what feels like a million things to do. You might feel like your body is going to explode under the pressure.

Take a step back, name the pressure you’re facing, and choose one small action that could ease it.

When I do this, naming the pressure helps me to understand why I feel this way. Of course I’m stressed. I have a lot on my plate!

Once I can accept that, I can then choose the next best step to alleviate some of that pressure.

Maybe it’s writing down the three most important tasks I need to complete and when they’re due. Maybe it’s doing that one task I’ve been avoiding, which has caused me to delay other work. Or maybe it’s going for a walk or a hike to reduce my stress before I get back to work.

Whatever it is, I can actively work toward reducing my stress with a little awareness and choosing the next best step.

Anxiety

Because anxiety is focused on the future, and often on worst-case scenarios, it’s helpful to bring yourself back to the present moment and into your body.

I’ve covered somatic exercises before to help with anxiety and panic symptoms, but meditation, breathing exercises, and naming a few things you see and hear can help you connect with the present moment inside your body.

From experience, when my body begins to calm through these exercises, the rumination tends to ease as well.

This certainly takes awareness. You have to notice when you’re ruminating, focusing on future events, or catastrophizing.

But once you build that awareness muscle, you can then work to bring yourself back into your body and the present moment as often as needed.

And that’s a great feeling to have.

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How do you think about the difference between stress and anxiety, and what has helped you deal with either one?

Let me know!